12.28.2005 13:03
today's the 28th and i cant believe i still have so much to study for tomarrow's judgement day. its called fail-the-test-and-drop-amaths exam. re-test-to be exact.
i really feel like giving up. for the first time,i longed so much to be subsituted out as soon as i was on court. for the first time,i didnt wanna play. for the first time,i thought i could've listened to aunt and not go for training today. for the first time,i thought to myself if i really should've let go since the time when everyone from my batch left the team. i didnt skip any training. not even once. i pushed myself hard. all for the sake of a chance to play. to really play. when the time came i just flopped. nobody can help me. its not the first time i'm dealing with the no confidence problem anyway. i can think hard,just about everything. i may wanna do you proud. i may wanna prove myself. but so what? i just fail each time. tell me this is no sport for me. its never too late to give up anyway right? i dont need to give you excuses. i'm just not good enough. i can cut you some slack. that's cos you have no lack of good players to play for you. its me. its methat need the chance. inferiority fill me up in every way possible.i'm twisted cos one side of me is telling me that i need to move on,on the other side i wanna break down and cry. )':
i've got a shattered dream for sale.
