pictures in my head

1.17.2006 21:13

i think one of the reasons why i blog is because.. i can write what i want here and nobody can change it. here's one thing i learnt from the book we're studying. its about insecurity and upbringing. i think i'm rather insecure. i'm brought up in a world full of critisism. whatever i do,right or wrong,good or bad,i'd still get critised. its the matter of how bad i get it. this is how one get inferior isnt it? you always think you're not as good as others. you dont wanna voice out your opinions. everyone else is happy while you're not. you find joy in the unhappiness? it may sound impossible,but doesnt it sound as impossible as to how i've been putting up with all these things all this while? whatever you say has a definite impact on my thinking and all. you might never ever realise it,but dont you think you've expected too much out of me. i get affected everytime,i can try to be oblivious to all the things that are said and done but no matter how i try,i cant. and i know you are just like me,with someone disappointed in you. ever wonder if i've tried my best? or whatever things i dont say,you just assume. assume that i'm not trying enough. assume that its not my best. assume that i can be stretched further. assume,Assume,ASSUME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!