6.24.2006 13:16
we won yesterday! and tonight's the finals against combined school.
ALJUNIED XING XIN,JIAYOU! JIAYOU,XING XIN! (:
i came home very very early last night. left straight after we were dismissed. i wasnt happy la. but yeah,got home earlier than my mum has expected so..good,no scoldings. life has been really quiet i guess. most of the time,i'm left alone with thoughts that stretch as wide as the skies just above me now. i was thinking...
wish i was just a kid.
then i can cry like nobody's business and not be judged.
then i can cry over the slightess things just to get what i want.
then i can cry when i didnt do well for my exams and try again next time.
then i can cry when i am sad.
then i can cry when i am disappointed.
then i can,i can and i can!
it seemed to me that there is so many things i cant do that i could have done when i was younger. i am suppressing my emotions. this is what i am taught-keep things to yourself,crying is weakness. fake smiles are still smiles. if you can force a smile it means things still arent that bad so keep it up. like i've lost the ability to speak up. no,i never had the ability to. why is it that when we've grown up,we cant be more frank with our feelings and thoughts? why do we have to bottle everything up? why is it that when we've grown up,its wrong to throw tantrums and just cry when you want to? rhetorical questions. cos we all know why.
above are just thoughts that were stretched a little too far. not that life has been all that bad,but it could be better? h a h a
