6.21.2006 23:36
why do we have to grow up? its such a stupid question but do you remember how it was like to be 5? maybe life was just so-so but you just dont think that way. you werent contented only because you haven know greed. full of innocence,life was just kindergarten and playground,cousins and siblings, home and family.
then you grew up,things changed.
you start to criticise actors or actresses of their poor acting skills instead of how you would sympathize with the character's sad plight in the story.
movies and shows arent exciting anymore because you probably would have predicted that there would be a "and they lived happily ever after" kind of ending and they really lived happily ever after.
you no longer speak your mind,like how you used to blabber only to find that you get slapped or snapped at,occasionally for saying just the wrong things. instead,you became more reserved and keep things to yourself.
you know you can no longer throw tantrums when you are not able to do something you want. you try to learn how to differentiate what's good and what's bad and yet still when you know,you still do the bad things.
your criteria for making decisions changed,who ever cares what's fair and what's not as long as it seemed fair to yourself.
you get bothered by things and issues you never knew when you were younger.
and the list goes on forever...
and we all have the same things to go through dont we-
think i am going mental. trying so hard to make sense with what i've just typed but nah,who cares if it made sense.
emptiness fills me,u do know the irony here do you? i am just trying to fill the emptiness,that filled me,with something else. k i shall stop here before this goes out of hand.
woke up late today and so,i skipped physics lesson. know i've said this thousands of time already but...am i really taking o's this year?
anyway,i thoroughly thoroughly enjoyed myself at the rink today.
not that it was much fun with circling round and round and round and round the rink in anti-clockwise direction.
not that it was much fun watching people fall down.
not that it was much fun whatever.
its just that every time i'm there,i buy tickets to freedom for as long as i like. you must be thinking i am crazy when what kinda freedom do you get when you are in the same puny rink pathetic with so many people. totally agree its annoying. but the freedom i am referring here is the exact freedom any person would want. maybe you dont derive the same thing from this but you can derive the same freedom through other things. for me,this is it. freed from all worries and care,freed from the past minute's disappointment. free and freed. i was skating alone for one plus hour when the rest left early. when they were there it was good fun w *screamS* hahaha.
went VCH for VIVAMUSICA after that. its my sis's secondary school band performance. this year,ruth watched her sister play the trombone,not as a member of the school band but a member of the school's alumni. k,i admit i almost fall asleep at first but the ending was great. hahaha. same song ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME every year but its gets better and better.
i didnt know what to say,i tried to look the other way.
sometimes,it just feels so wrong,everything feels wrong.
