whoa ages since i came online, let alone blog or entertain my friendster acc. okay, so i just wanna blog about someone i really miss...
last year this time, i was really devasted. i remembered how i knelt in front of my grandfather's bed and see him lying there coldly. one year has passed and nothing has changed much actually. except i probably became a worse person. i screw up a lot just that no one really knows. just got back from my aunt's house. i was thinking (as if its of any use now), i should have been there last year. how unfillial i was, i wasnt even there to see my grandpa for the last time. it still haunts me. i cannot help but to blame myself sometimes. how i took everything for granted. you might have heard this many times before, about others regretting as well, but its true, the way i feel about myself, they are all true. life without grandpa initially was really hard. the house became empty.... then i got used to it. how grandma took over his place at the dinner table.. how his bed was left empty and i would lie there for afternoon naps. just, how everything changed. how i changed too. for the worse. if grandpa were to see me right now, he'd be disappointed at the person i've become. just what is wrong w me... )':
ME.
ruthg 200790
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